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Why Do I Get So Upset When Someone Ignores Me?

When Someone Ignores You,
This is Why You Get Upset. 

*note: name changed from Emotional Trigger Method 

to the Debox Method*


In this episode, we’re looking at a question that many listeners have asked us: Why do I get so upset when people ignore me?


And let’s explore if maybe the problem lies within your own past and self-esteem.

Have you ever felt ignored by someone and experienced a flood of negative emotions?


Perhaps you felt upset, hurt, or angry. If so, you’re not alone.


The human need for social connection is a fundamental aspect of our psychology, and when that connection is threatened, it can trigger a range of emotions, including low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.


One of the main reasons we may feel upset when someone ignores us is linked to our own self-esteem. People who struggle with low self-esteem may be particularly sensitive to perceived rejections, which can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy and reinforce negative self-beliefs.


For example, if you already believe you’re not good enough, being ignored by someone you care about can confirm this belief, leading to a sense of worthlessness and helplessness.


Another reason that being ignored can be so upsetting is that it can trigger personal triggers linked to our own insecurities. For example, if you have a deep-seated fear of abandonment, being ignored by someone can be particularly distressing as it may tap into this underlying fear.


Similarly, if you have a history of being ignored or neglected by others, this may make you more sensitive to situations where you perceive yourself as being ignored.


It’s important to recognize that being ignored can amplify feelings of low self-esteem and inadequacy.

When we feel ignored, it’s common to feel as though we’re not good enough, that we’re unworthy of attention or love.


However, it’s important to remember that this is often not the case. In fact, being ignored may have nothing to do with us at all, and instead may be related to the other person’s own struggles, circumstances, or limitations.


So, what can you do when you feel upset or ignored by someone?


First, it’s important to recognize that your feelings are valid and to give yourself permission to experience them. Second, try to identify the specific triggers that are contributing to your emotional response.


This may involve exploring your own insecurities and beliefs about yourself, and considering how these may be impacting your reactions. Finally, consider reaching out to someone who understands these things and can give guidance or even teach you how to remove these negative feelings that no longer serve you. We no longer need to be a slave to our impactful negative triggers. 


Talking about your feelings with someone you trust and who will not judge you, can help you process them and gain a different perspective on the situation.

In conclusion, feeling upset when someone ignores us is a common human experience, and can be related to our own self-esteem, personal triggers, and insecurities.


However, it’s important to recognise that our feelings are valid and to take steps to support ourselves in these moments of emotional distress. There is nothing wrong with you. It’s normal! 


The main thing is to accept these feelings but not act on them!


Don’t send that angry message or attack the person who you feel is ignoring you. 


By acknowledging our own needs and seeking support when needed, we can learn to understand, navigate and even remove these difficult emotions with greater ease and build greater resilience.